Sometimes temporary relief is what you need, just to help you stay the course, but I agree that the long term aim is always to learn, change and grow. However, just being heard is a big plus!
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There’s CALM, which is a very good charity for mental health and mental disabilities in general. My Mum and brother aren’t autistic, but they helped them a lot with their anxiety issues.
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I mean, no one’s under any obligation to read anything so I wouldn’t worry. Share what you feel happy sharing. Sometimes it’s cathartic (though not like the catharsis of spurious morality 
).
Sometimes it’s nice to know you can just get it off your chest. It’s also surprising (and comforting) when you discover you are not alone!
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Oh I’ve heard of CALM. I must look it up. Thank you!
You’re right. It can make a universe of difference!
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I used to wish I was a Vulcan, able to “shut off” my emotions. In certain ways I still hold this belief.
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Listened to this podcast episode on self-diagnosing. It kinda remind me of this thread.
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My autism assessment is in March. I have mixed feelings about what it will mean, but I think it will be good to know why I’ve been odd all my life.
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I’m awaiting assessment but we’re pretty sure I’m autistic
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Has anyone else read “How to Handle Neurotypicals” by Abel Abelson? I genuinely found it an enriching and thought provoking read.
The Ninth Doctor would agree. Stupid apes.
The Twelfth Doctor would also understand.
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Yeah, not odd. Different. Recognising that is a good thing. When I get overwhelmed by all the bustling people babbling and jostling at the supermarket (or wherever) I remember this:
They’re basically a different species. It’s not their fault. Observe them as I would any other animals. See the patterns.
They still frustrate me, but less so. I’m different to them. Knowing that helps me to be more accepting of their limitations and more aware of why they don’t behave rationally.
They might think I’m weird or odd, but that’s because they don’t see that I’m actually just different (because they expect everyone to be like them which is, if you think about, actually pretty odd in itself - variation is central to life). Different is not odd. It’s really not the same thing at all.
Accept the difference. It’s kind of liberating.
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While I won’t deny this sentiment can help a lot of people, it definitely isn’t one-size-fits-all. I don’t know how “Mindfog” feels about their autism, but I know there are many people who are constantly treated a certain way because of it and, for one reason or another, are unable to get their needs met (whether it be socially, romantically, for accommodations, whatever). After a while it can become less “I’m just different; its NTs fault I’m not understood” and more “I’m an alien and I’ll never fit in anywhere”, with many wishing they were “normal”. For some people their perception of their autism (and all the disability elements that come with it) can’t be improved with simply a change in thought process.
I know the Autism Pride and Autism Awareness movements have given many confidence (and good for them!), but at times there can be a disconnect between the folk who think of autism as being something we all should celebrate/be proud of/take in stride and those who have elements of their autism they genuinely wish they could change. I’m speaking generally by the way, this isn’t directed at you.
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I quite agree. Neurodivergence is huge, complex and (above all) staggeringly diverse. There may be common elements but there are far more ways to differ from the typical than ways to be typical (by definition). Herein lies much of the problem.
There are significant aspects of how ND manifests within me that I would dearly love to not have to deal with. There are aspects that make my life far more difficult than it need be. However, in recognising that there is a difference, it goes a long way to explaining what I find inexplicable in others. I sincerely do not believe that thinking of oneself as odd is constructive. By contrast, recognising fundamental difference is helpful. It isn’t about seeing oneself as better (because there are many ways that being autistic, or ND in other ways, makes life so much trickier in an NT world). However, recognising that the majority of other people do not think/perceive as I do does give me a constructive context. In short, it helps.
Granted, this approach may not help everyone. We are all different, after all (see what I did there? ). That said, for me it was, is, and remains my most useful touchstone for dealing with an NT world.
If it helps anyone on here, great! If not, what have you lost?
I won’t put on a mask. I am what I am. Some of it is wonderful. Some of it is truly bloody ****. All of it is me. Fit in? People either want me in their lives or not, but I’m still me.
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“Odd” just means different than what is typical though, it’s the same as saying you see yourself as different.
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I don’t disagree with this, but there are a lot more negative connotations (and the word is often used for precisely that reason) when people call other people odd. Rightly or wrongly, it’s a very loaded term. For that reason, I feel very uncomfortable. about it.
Different, however? That’s just a statement of fact.
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My choice of words wasn’t ideal and I’m sorry for that. I was more or less forced to mask from as soon as I worked out how to. For that reason, I still struggle with internalised negative self image, and I genuinely don’t know where the mask ends and I begin. I think trying to fit in a please others caused my lifelong health issues, ME, due to overdoing things, severe depression, due to not managing to meet expectations (usually mine of myself, but also that of others) and anxiety, due to suppressing many of my natural reactions to stimuli. I admire your approach and appreciate your advice. When I’ve managed to unpick what my true self is, I hope I might manage to follow it, but I think there’s a lot of work for me to do to get there, and in the mean time I need to manage some quite restrictive health conditions.
As you say, we’re all different, and we all come from different starting points. I will try not to think of myself as weird or odd and try to think about it as difference, but I still struggle with very low self esteem. 
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You don’t need to apologise. I know where you’re coming from and went through something similar myself. Masking is something we all do to an extent, but it can he harmful when we lose sight of who we are. The dangers and potential harms of negative self image are precisely why I think it helps to recognise who you are, that it’s OK to be different. You should never have to apologise for that. We should apologise for the choices we make that harm others but never for simply being.
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Yep. It’s like I can’t stand people who describe myself and others as ‘loons’. I know that it’s not necessarily meant as a dig at the autism itself, but it makes me feel very uncomfortable because of the negative associations it has with things like mental hospitals and asylums.
There were couple of people on Twitter who kept using that term towards myself because they disagreed with my opinions on Doctor Who, and I told them repeatedly to stop as I didn’t like it, and they wouldn’t and implied I was daft for wanting them not to use that term because “it’s used in the title for Looney Tunes.”
I mean, no, that’s completely different.
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Sadly, people are awful.
They really should have stopped as soon as you asked them to and not tried to defend it. But then as I say.
People are awful.
Except here, hopefully.
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Except here, definitely!
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It was the only survival strategy I knew when I was 11-12. I knew I needed to “be normal” so I’d stop standing out and being a target, plus embarrassing family and so on. There was quite a bit of pressure to watch others and to try and copy how they acted, what they liked etc. I couldn’t always get it right and a lot of the time I was guessing, and sometimws I couldn’t keep it up and I’d have a meltdown or get bullied or get punished for being embarrassing. I’ve been tyring to work out how to simply be all these years later, but there are many decades of learned behaviour to try to unpick.
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