It depends on who is at the library. If it’s empty then I’ll be there like a shot. But if there’s anyone who wants to talk there then I’ll stay home!
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To be honest, I’m not great meeting new people either! So the meet up might just be a bunch of Doctor Who fans avoiding eye contact 
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We’ll work through it though. We can just all bad mouth Scandinavia for half an hour…
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Hear, hear. I’ve always wanted to go to a rave because I love the vestibular stimulation dancing like a wild person can bring (provided it’s to music I like). A library is fun, but I also would’ve been having a ball at any 70s disco. The whole introvert/extrovert categorization has become a bit annoying. You can be introverted and still like socializing or going to parties; just as you can be extroverted and prefer to hang out in small groups at the local coffee shop rather than a football stadium full of strangers.
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Yes actually, despite being introverted in typical social situations, I’m the first (and last) person on the dance floor at any wedding 
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Yeah I’m massively introverted but constantly have social plans because I love socialising and just forget my introversion means I have a lower social battery than most… Social burnout be real
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I took the plunge and asked my GP surgery to refer me via right to choose. It will take a few months, if I’m lucky, but I hope it will help me to process my low self esteem and where it comes from.
I was wondering, where do people go for support when feeling low, anxious or having had a melt down? I email Samaritans, as I’m not good with phone calls, but I’m interested to find out if there are other resources out there that might be more helpful? I’m going through a bit of a dicey patch mental health wise and am looking for ways to get through it.
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Agree that the library is the right and proper choice here. Party? Even with people I know and like? Nope. Not my cup of tea. Matter of fact, I’d rather settle down with a cup of tea.
I do love a good library though. Oases of calm. I even love walking around stately homes, looking for the inevitable library. I can’t even touch the books but just being there… it soothes. I like to read the titles. I like to smell that book smell and just… be in the moment. A point of stillness. Bliss.
In fact, that’s one of many things I love about “Shada”. Professor Chronotis’s rooms are a delight. I can actually feel like I’m there, amidst the books. A cup of tea. Ahhhh!
This does make a difference. Also, museums can be busy. However, behind closed doors you have the unseen specimens not available to the public. Now there we have another haven of quiet and a source of great fascination (at least as far as natural history museums go, which is my thing).
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A library or a bookstore. I’ve spent a lot of time in both in my life, and if I’m temporarily in another city, there’s a pretty good chance I’ll seek out one or the other.
Of course, my seeking out multiple locations of Powells Books the one time I was in Portland, OR may not be that unexpected, since it is or was the biggest bookstore in the US. (Though I’m pretty sure I ended up at the library, too. Definitely ended up at the Sacramento library when passing through…)
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Wants to talk? In a… a library?
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Second hand bookshops for me. Much as I love pristine new books, I have a passion for the old and the antiquarian.
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I don’t do this any more, but there was a time when something I did when my birthday rolled around was I went through looking up the locations of a bunch of used bookstores and mapped out bus routes I would take to spend a good chunk of the day going between them, basically going home when I was tired or lugging around too many books…
I was also very sad when the used bookstore right near me closed, though I was there for progressively larger and larger sales and eventually, a “all books are free” day.
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The loss of a good bookshop is always a bad thing.
There are places that used to be bookshops I go past occasionally to this day. It kind of doesn’t matter what they are these days. The fact that they are no longer bookshops is enough. Those places seem dead to me. It’s very sad.
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A lot of that is behind me stopping doing those trips. The used bookstores kept going out of business, and not enough new ones were cropping up to replace them.
I remember a bookstore when visiting my mom that actually took over a mini mall. It’d been a tiny mall, but was a largish bookstore…
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If you ever visit the UK, you would enjoy Hay on Wye. Avoid Hay Festival (which gets very busy) and just enjoy what is known as “The Town of Books”. It is a very heavy concentration of used bookshops in a beautiful setting.
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Doubt I’ll ever get out to the UK, but if I did, that would definitely be a destination! And I’m not sure I would come back from there. Years later, I’d probably still be in the town of books, working at a bookstore…
(Not that I don’t want to go to the UK. I just don’t have a passport or the money.)
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Just wanted to know that I have seen this but don’t have an answer for you, sorry.
You can always post on here and chat to us if you’re feeling low.
Use the Members-only Lounge if you don’t want the posts to be seen by anyone who isn’t a longstanding member.
Really sorry to hear that. I’ve found that having a good therapist can really help, just someone to vent to who doesn’t judge is such a lovely thing.
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I’ve also some problems with low self esteem, and some other things with being trans. I’d say find someone you feel close to and trust to work out your problem.
I tried to go to consultants in my uni but either of the two times I went there worked, because we dont have consultants here experienced enough with trans people. But if you can find someone that does have the specialty, consulting definitely helps.
So I went for my friend instead. I tried to organize my thoughts to form a narrative as clear as possible beforehand and made sure he had enough time and was willing to listen to me, for like three hours on the phone. (I’d meet him in person if we don’t live in different cities…) I think it’s the fact that he’s similar to me enough to try and understand my problems to a certain level, yet we are different enough that he offers a new point of view.
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Thanks for getting back to me. Sometimes there are no perfect answers, but it’s nice to hear what other people do for support.
That is a kind offer which I may well take up, although I want to be careful about dumping a lot of stuff on people who might not have the resilience to read it.
Yes a good counsellor or psychotherapist can be very helpful. I do have some counselling sessions which really do help, but they’re quite spaced out and sometimes I feel I need something a bit more immediate.
I was really interested in finding out how other people manage the low or difficult times, as it’s always helpful to look for new or different ways to deal. There’s a lot we can learn from each other.
My counsellor works for Action for ME, so the focus is very much on coping with the emotional impact of not being believed and not getting appropriate healthcare or support, and this is actually where I began to realise that an autism assessment might be useful. I also use journalling and I contact Samaritans by email. I hate using the phone, especially talking to people I don’t know. The emailing helps and they usually get back within 48 hours. I’m also part of a cocounselling network, which uses a stict protocol of equal time listening to one another. It’s meant to be confidential and non-judgemental, but the training is minimal and judgements often leak and you really can’t rely on the confidentiality either! But it sometimes provides someone to listen at a useful time. I see a friend who takes me swimming once a week and he usually lets me vent in his direction, which is very kind of him.
However, despite all this I still find times when I feel desperate to talk to someone, but can’t face picking up the phone and the anxiety associated with that, so it is useful to find out how others cope.
Thanks for your thoughts. I appreciate it.
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I’m sorry to hear this. I can relate to the low self esteem. I quite often struggle with mine.
He sounds like a great friend! I’m so glad you can talk to him. I also vent in my friend’s direction. I’m not quite as organised and end up with a scattergun approach, but he does listen and shows that he understands, which is worth a great deal to me.
Thanks for your thoughts!
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The most important thing that I find over the years is that venting to a friend only helps my emotion temporarily, and in the long term it even has negative effects because I usually don’t take the crucial step of changing my behaviour afterwards. (||๐_๐)
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