Except here, yeah. We make the effort to be kind to people
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Twitter is just such a cesspool. I would recommend Bluesky as a cozier alternative.
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Yep, I’m on BlueSky too and it’s great. I even have someone following me on there who blocked me on Twitter. It feels like everyone just wants to get along.
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I bet I’m far from the only one on here who despairs at hearing “we’re all on the spectrum somewhere” by people who are very much neurotypical. Whilst I think it’s sometimes well meant. I have come across many instances where it is used to undermine difference and belittle the challenges that we face.
In a related note, though the term is ASD, I do not believe that spectrum adequately describes what is actually more of a multidimensional hypervolume (albeit in a neurological/psychological sense, rather than an ecological sense). And it’s a multidimensional hypervolume where NT is a relatively small yet highly dense cluster. There’s plenty of variation in that cluster, sure, but the magnitude of that variation, it seems to me, is markedly less. Hence, neurotypical. The divergents among us stand out as noticeably different because we are, on at least one and often multiple axes, far from that cluster (or, at least, much further than the NT majority.
OK, I’ll shut up now.
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Twitter is, indeed, a cesspool. Not so long ago, there was a thriving professional community on there and it was a place of joy.
Now in tatters.
I have not looked at BlueSky. Perhaps I should? 
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That’s where the “disorder” element comes into play. The criteria that comprise autism are not exclusive purely to those who have it, but what differentiates someone who, say, is an fan of a show and someone who has a special interest in that same show is a matter of impairment. If autism doesn’t cause distress (whether knowingly or unknowingly) in some form or fashion, you cannot be autistic. It’s a disability, after all, but it has been watered down to something quirky and cute.
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Yeah exactly. Literally every entry in the DSM requires that symptoms cause distress/impairment to the patient and/or others. People can absolutely have traits that may be considered autistic in nature, but not be autistic overall, as autism consists of multiple traits, with a certain number of these traits causing impairment/distress in everyday life. That saying tho, these can be very societal and context dependent, as someone who could be considered autistic in one environment, but managed to live a life where these traits didn’t cause that much impairment in another
E.g. my mum’s father was almost definitely on the spectrum but bc he had control over nearly every aspect of his life as head of the family and as a farmer, as well as living rurally so not having to interact with people as much, he thrived until he had to move closer to the city as he aged for health reasons etc. Plus his wife took care of him/did a lot of work behind the scenes, especially socially)
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This is what I find so divisive and damaging about the whole “we’re all on the spectrum somewhere” argument that gets trotted out so regularly. Of course everyone exists as part of a continuum, but mostly within a certain set of parameters. Expressing traits that are common with autism does not make one autistic (and isn’t it curious how it’s typically those traits that might be seen as either positive or at worst quirky that are cited). As you say, the impairment, the challenges to normal societal existence and the, yes, lets call it what it is, the distress experienced… these cannot be adequately addressed or mitigated by people claiming that everyone’s somewhere on the spectrum. It’s an attempt, by some, to belittle and obscure.
Apologies, it is a real bugbear of mine.
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This is very well expressed. Thank you. Context is, as they say, everything. It’s why I can feel King of the World on stage or if speaking to an audience but I feel panicky and utterly lost as part of an audience (or walking around a supermarket).
I would have loved to attended the live show of “The Stuff of Legend” or to go to the various Comic Cons or other conventions, yet the very thought makes me feel physically ill.
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I think part of the problem with Twitter is that it has some people on there who don’t understand autism. I got people for instance that criticise me for repeatedly tweeting how disappointed I was that Matt Smith and Peter Capaldi weren’t in Wild Blue Yonder. They see it as fan entitlement, when in reality it’s that some of us on the spectrum become obsessed with these ideas of what we think something will be, and the disappointment is harder to handle when we are wrong.
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I think part of the problem with Twitter is that it has some people on there who…
…don’t understand; and
…even if they DID understand, wouldn’t care.
And that was before the poisonous “X” debacle.
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Coming in here as one of the ‘not officially diagnosed but everyone is pretty darn sure’ crowd (also surrounded by a big flock of nd folks irl which apparently can also be a diagnostic criteria)
I failed spectacularly to mask in a lot of ways growing up, which I’ve ultimately accepted as a blessing now, because everyone knows me for my genuine self, which is lovely.
I have struggles (sensory and auditory processing get me bad, as does my tendency to take everything deeply literally and need explicit instructions to do any task), but I’ve found a lot of joy in being on the spectrum. I love how I connect with people and how deeply I feel things.
And I love having special interests - Doctor Who of course being among them 
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Yeah, I have the same with instructions to do a task. The frustrating thing is it gets misconstrued as laziness, when it’s more the way that the mind operates.
I also have set routines, and if someone asks me to do something that interferes with what I have planned in my mind, it doesn’t always work out. My family put up with a lot that others probably wouldn’t.
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The spectre of avoidable uncertainty looms large in my life (on a daily basis).
I have no real problem accepting uncertainty in nature. I understand where that uncertainty comes from, how (and why) it works. In fact, it becomes predictable by virtue of understanding the causes.
Avoidable uncertainty, however? People not meaning what they say. Saying one thing, doing another (seemingly with no recognition of the disconnect between their words and actions), unnecessary ambiguity or vagueness (maybe because they then don’t feel the need to commit or because it can mask the fact they don’t know - which they’d never want to admit - or they just don’t care).
As for instructions? I agree. I love clear instructions. I also adore checklists. Oh the joy of ticking something off and moving on to the next task! I genuinely get such pleasure from that. I actually have an invisible checklist in my head for key tasks each day. I also make countless visual checklists for use during work or similar.
I’m also more than happy to adapt or change sub-optimal instructions to generate a more desirable outcome. My starting point, however, has to be the initial set of instructions. That establishes a baseline against which I can compare and, hopefully, improve.
I’m often accused (by my friends and family) of being excessively competitive when, in reality, I’m not really competitive at all… except with myself. I measure everything. I like to improve and refine. Because I’m constantly measuring and improving my own performance, I tend to get better at things which friends and family then construe as me trying to show them up. I’m really not. I’m just motivated to measure and adapt. They, more often than not, are not similarly motivated so I leave them behind. Not because I’m trying to be better than them, but because I’m constantly working on myself. I’m not bothered how they do (as long as they’re happy), but I can’t stop measuring and tweaking my own performance.
And, yes, I guess I can see why all of this drives other people crazy but… it isn’t meant to. It’s just the way I am.
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The worst thing about uncertainty, IMO, is if you are really looking forward to something and you build it up in your head as this big thing, and then it doesn’t happen. Like if there’s a film you really want to see at the cinema, and it becomes your obsession for the next few months, but then when it releases the cinema trip looks unobtainable.
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I can relate to this. ironically, I have a book on order about autism. I have been very much looking forward to reading it. It was due on Monday and was next on my reading list (yup, another checklist). The delivery driver told me that it was “missing”. I reported it as missing and the company have now told me I need to continue to wait until the end of this week to see if it turns up.
Not acceptable. I was due to start reading it on Monday evening. It still shows up as missing but I have to wait for the unlikely to happen (which it won’t) and then report it again to see if they can come up with a solution. How about… send me a copy of what I paid for and haven’t yet received?
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Yep, I’ve had this a few times with Amazon. The last time I contacted them about something that was supposed to arrive at a set time but didn’t, I told them about my autism and the advisor went above and beyond to make sure it got to me much quicker.
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anybody else find they struggled adjusting to the new timeslot with doctor who? i love routine and its totally just upset me.
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I wouldn’t say I struggle to adjust. When DW is on, I admit I shape my entire day around it. Consequently, I need to know the broadcast time ASAP in advance so I can slot everythong else into place and ensure DW time is sacrosanct. I like a nice run in, so I can get everything prepared in readiness. What DOES throw me (it wreaks havoc on me) is interruption or unexpected developments on a Doctor Who day. I have everything planned. Change, on the day, is NOT an option.
I do not like when the broadcast time changes from week to week.
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I did, but I came up with my own routine that works best for me, and in the end, it made this era really enjoyable for me.
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