K9 - How?!?! Why?!?!

That’s my next episode so fingers crossed. I watched the previous one over a year ago if not longer!

Like with a lot of these stories its them exploring a standard episode template that you’ll often see in these types of genre or “monster of the week” shows like Buffy or DW. This is the nightmares episode and was the first one that I could say I mildly enjoyed hehe.


It is! I enjoy hearing about different people’s surprising favorites

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It would’ve been a good episode of SJA but it’s so inherently contradictory to the entire worldview and mission statement of Torchwood that I just think that makes it the worst Torchwood episode

Right, so I bit the bullet and continued where I left off no idea how long ago.

Watched Dream-Eaters and Curse of Anubis.

So many things to talk about!

The English accents from everyone - adults and children - are soooo bad.
How/why did the Dream-Eater alien thing turn out to be Jorjie’s Mum?
The man with the giant teddy bear!
The constant leaps in plot logic to move the story on - characters suddenly work something out with little or no actual gaining of knowledge.
The deserted ‘London’ street with the futuristic milk van.
The sleep walker extras decided to act like the Walking Dead complete with Scooby Doo arms out stretched (who the fuck was directing this!)
The tin foil hats which Darius decides not to wear for no good reason meaning he gets taken over almost immediately.

And then

Everyone in Egyptian eye make up
K9 in a cloak
Egyptian aliens with a pyramid spaceship - Stargate is on the phone - they want their ideas back.
Another episode with people getting taken over and becoming zombie like!
Why do the Department do all their work on board a moving bus?
What is the point of Drake
Is it me or does Starkey look remarkably like Carole Ann Ford?
And why is he, among a cast of not very good actors, still even worse than anyone else?

But you know what, they weren’t as terrible as previous episodes and we did get the gag about K9 dreaming of electric sheep!

I need a few days or maybe weeks respite and then we’ll attempt the next one. When does Drake bugger off?

You still rated Curse of Anubis 3 stars which to me sounds very generous! (I’ve not seen that one yet).

Going for the badge? :muscle:

I’m a sucker for an Egyptian themed episode and the story of an alien species that K9 saved in his previous incarnation was fun.

I also forgot that there are illustrations of Sea Devils and Alpha Centauri in the Anubins history book!


I’m quite tolerant to the seismic shifts in purpose and tone across Torchwood’s four series. Every time it felt like they found their voice they switched things up again at least by the start of the next series if not before. Overall it feels like a real grab bag of different vibes where anything goes.

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I’m done! The curse of the off brand K9 and it’s incomprehensible number of episodes has been lifted! In summary, after it gets better it then gets worse again.

My Top 5 K9 Stories

  1. Taphony and the Time Loop
  2. Lost Library of UKKO
  3. Dream-Eaters
  4. The Cambridge Spy
  5. The Curse of Anubis

The worst character / actor is Drake, the show gets a bit of a boost when he is replaced by Throne who is a genuinely intimidating presence, but even he starts phoning it in towards the end of the series.

The worst trope is the gang consistently not trusting or disbelieving each other, which is mad given everything they have been through together. The best trope is aliens often turning out to be misunderstood good guys, a positive message for a children’s TV show.

The small number of episodes with time travel in them also performed better than the standard show, it’s a shame that for budgetary reasons they have to spend so much time around the world’s most boring standing set.

I would recommend against watching in UK broadcast order which makes absolutely no sense, and had me watching episode 2 well into the show’s run, missing some set up.

Sirens of Ceres is a good example of an episode that would have actually worked with a stronger cast, being home to a plot and a clear three act structure. I like the feminist message that is snuck in, showing what a “boy’s ideal” of a girl is and then what girls are actually like. There is a sincere message on how ridiculous the patriarchy can be - and some hilarious flirting. The script was good enough to go some way in overcoming a mixture of bad and uncharismatic acting!

Lost Library of UKKO is Thorne’s first regular episode, he raises the game of the general cast. Writer Deborah Parsons is easily the best writer on this show also returns in fine form. The librarian alien in a cheap 1970s alien outfit is so camp and classic-Doctor Who like. I love it.

Taphony and the Time Loop is far more developed and complex than the rest of the series, with a compelling guest character in the sympathetic out of time girl Taphony. The performance is sparkling and sits among the regular cast beautifully. Everyone has an understandable motivation and none of our regular characters are treated as stupid, all being a couple of steps ahead of their usual selves. Taphony’s character seems to be drawn to a similar mold of Eleven from Stranger Things, well ahead of that show’s conception. Any Doctor Who spin off, or even the main show itself, would be proud of an episode of this quality. From the incidental music to the camerawork, it all just shines a little more here.

The Last Prescient is the worst episode of anything Doctor Who related I’ve ever watched. Appalling performances from actors reaching well beyond their range.

Angel of The North sees Bob Baker return, and I like that he leans into the show’s lore a bit more. I’d forgotten in the time that it took me to get to this latter stage of the series that the professor was an agoraphobe. It is a fairly standard plot done on an epic scale. The Korven does not deliver the terror the production team are hoping to muster on its second outing. Baker gets a bit caught up with the plot at the end, forgetting to show not tell.

During the last episode, I was aware whilst watching the budding romance between our teen leads and K9’s eventual regeneration, that I was meant to be feeling things, but the truth is that I felt nothing. I am ultimately glad this show exists as it’s part of the Whoniverse’s rich tapestry, but it’s a pretty poor patchwork.


It is so impressive that you’ve finished it! Unfortunately, like everyone else in this thread, seeing the bad reviews has just made me want to watch it more :rofl:


Great work and welcome to tour K9 Club. Congratulations on the badge it is well-earned!


I only have two episodes left and I have to agree with your ranking of the top 3 episodes.


I’m very proud of it! :joy:


I’m afraid the best of the show is behind you. Good luck! :sweat_smile:


I have now joined the 7 other people with the Affirmative, Master! badge.


Welcome to the club! Good job!


On the one hand I do want to watch it half just to say I have (and for the badge ofc)

But on the other hand, is that really how i want to spend 13 hours of my life?


But think of all the hours you will spend wondering what this K9 lark is all about - surely the temporal equation will be more in your favour if you commit only the 13 hours! :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


Ah fair, true true


Aarrrghghhh!!! How do I still have 12 episodes left of this :triumph::triumph::triumph::grimacing::grimacing::grimacing:
Is the badge really worth it??? :wink: