In Defence of The Web Planet - Episode 2: The Zarbi
The model shot of Vortis where the TARDIS is being dragged along is excellent and gives a real sense of scale to the planet.
The Menoptra - I really believe these are a brilliant mix of costume design and performance. There is so much thought in how they move and speak and their wings are gorgeous. Insect movement by Roslyn de Winter - only in Doctor Who!
The Menoptra exo-skeleton that Ian accidentally steps in is another example of the thought that has gone into a properly alien race.
Barbara’s reaction to being surrounded by three Menoptra is 100% Barbara - completely unphased and in the next scene she’s just calmly talking to them. Having recently seen the way Sarah Jane responds to Alpha Centauri, it’s so pleasing to see a character take weird aliens in her stride.
The crane shot when the Zarbi surround the Doctor and Ian really helps sell the scale of the Zarbi and makes them look pretty impressive.
The Doctor’s comment about rubbing their legs together to communicate with the Zarbi is amusing.
The pulsating growth of the Carsenome - it could be a little more obvious but I admire the attempt to make even the set feel alien and alive.
I’ve always loved the crystal transmitter the Menoptra use - the way Vrestin operates it is another example of adding little ‘alien’ details to the story.
The severing of Hrostar’s wings is savage. All communicated through Barbara’s reactions.
The voice that echoes from the ‘hairdryer’ ending the story on another great cliffhanger - something else is in control…
I admit that pretty much all of these are valid points that make The Web Planet look better. Most of them have to do with the production side of things, which I’ve always admitted to being ambitious, unearthly, and mostly impressive and believable. That still doesn’t make the story any less of a hassle to sit through, though .
In Defence of The Web Planet - Episode 3: Escape to Danger
The astral map is such a 60s Who idea and the fact it has to stay plugged in is hilarious!
The Doctor describing the communication device as a hairdryer!
The Menoptra flying - that’s not an easy thing to achieve and it looks great.
Ian fighting the Zarbi
Vrestin not being able to say Ian and Barbara’s names properly (Heron and Arbara). It’s such a clever way of adding to the alienness.
Is Ian flirting with Vrestin? It’s a bit odd how they’re suddenly just chilling on a rocky outcrop but it does seem like with the Barbara’s away, the butterflies will play…
Vrestin telling the story of the Animus.
I will admit I found this one slightly more of a struggle to find good things in (but not impossible). There are quite a lot of scenes where the action is a bit odd and there’s hardly any dialogue alongside it (Ian running through the Carsenome for example). Vicki has nothing to do, sadly, and I’d forgotten that Barbara is absent for the whole episode.
So in lieu of lots of good aspects here’s some stunning artwork from the story:
In Defence of The Web Planet - Episode 4: Crater of Needles:
Ian and Vrestin having their hands sealed together by the Optera. William Russell’s scream sells the moment really well.
I love the way the Optera speak. It’s another attempt at making them distinctly alien through performance.
I rather like the whole Crater of Needles setting and how this is the focus of a lot of this episodes exposition about the Menoptera invasion plan.
The Menoptera and Barbara escaping the crater is fun - especially the bit where a venom grub/larvae gun is crushed against a wall like someone stepping on a woodlouse!
I love how Vrestin basically goes all superior towards the Optera because she’s a proper Menoptera and they are mud-crawling primitives. It’s so funny when she springs her wings and they bow down to her.
Menoptera even die like an insect would die. It’s properly been thought about.
The battle scene with flying Menoptera is ambitious and just about pulled off. It reminds me of the way Richard Martin films the battle scenes between the Daleks and Mechanoids in The Chase.
In Defence of The Web Planet - Episode 5: Invasion:
The episode starts with Vicki being clever and saving the Doctor.
Yay! It’s the episode with Vicki’s pet Zarbi - Zombo.
The Temple of Light
Martin Jarvis being all bitchy and hissing at Barbara and Barbara pushing back with her usual no-nonsense tone of voice. Brilliant!
More poetry from the Menoptra - mainly from Prapillus:
The ancient song-spinners of our race sang of their beauty, but I thought they could never be found again.
Before the Animus came, the flower forest covered the planet in a cocoon of peace. Our ancestors carved temples like this for resting places of our dead, but that was all the work we did. There were no other plans to make. Light was our God and we existed in light, flying above thought. Our banishment has taught us of enemies and weapons, and my captivity has taught me strategy. They tore my wings from me and I felt, as you feel, that all was lost. But if our Gods favour our survival, we must learn their lesson and use our brains and not our wings. This Earth woman we must trust, for she can show us how to exist without wings, to survive and flourish. What should we do?
Barbara’s military strategy - she really doesn’t let anything phase her.
Nemini blocking the ‘liquid hate’ with her own head and her soft moan of pain as she dies is one of Doctor Who’s most horrific deaths.
Love the Doctor and Prapillus arguing over taking Zombo and the Doctor’s ring and Prapillus being diplomatic when Barbara asks if anything is wrong. One of those ‘the Doctor meets an equal’ scenes which I think gets forgotten about.
A top down shot of the Optera, Vrestin and Ian deciding they need to dig up. A Richard Martin special and very effective.
One of my all-time favourite cliffhangers - the Doctor and Vicki being covered in web. Vicki’s muffled cry is quite chilling and then when we see her, her face is completely encased - really scary!!
Yep. Loads to love in Part 5. I can’t deny 3 and 4 are a bit of a trudge but this episode is packed with good stuff as we scurry along to the climax.
In Defence of The Web Planet - Episode 6: The Centre:
Coralling the Zarbi - not sure why they’re doing it but it’s hilarious. Zarrrrrbbbiiiiiii!
The concept of water retreating from the Animus meaning there’s hope for Vortis to return to being a lush, green planet again (something picked up on in returns to Vortis in the EU).
Catching the venom grub like Steve Irwin grabbing the mouth of a croc (it’s a shame Hrostar’s resulting death is fumbled really badly in the direction).
The Centre - I love all the tendrils and the voice. I love how the Doctor is almost helpless here and Vicki is the one trying to fight it.
The Animus’s true form is actually pretty impressive.
Love how Barbara knows how to set the right frequency on an astral map because, apparently, it also works as a communicator too! And then because it won’t work she happens to find the isoptope hidden inside.
I really like the shots of Ian coming up under the centre. It’s weird how some of Martin’s shot choices and direction are really effective, like this, but other parts are truly awful.
Playing catch with the isoptope - brilliant!
Love how Hilio continues to be a prissy arsehole because he clearly wants the glory of destroying the Animus.
The light of the Animus drawing the Menoptra towards it is yet another way the script makes sure it always uses insect tropes to develop the alien creatures.
Barbara saves the day!
I really like how the regulars stay to see Vortis’s first steps of recovery.
The Optera trying to fly is adorable. Vrestin’s desire to help them is lovely.
Prapillus and the Doctor have another lovely moment bonding in their position of elder.
Prapillus declaring a national holiday to celebrate the ‘Earthmen’ that saved Vortis.
And we’re done.
I know this story isn’t loved. I’m not blind to its faults and there is much to pick apart in some of the direction and acting but I can’t help but like it because I admire the ambition.
The script is poetic and there is such a lot of effort in the script, the design, and the acting to create proper alien species in the Menoptra and Zarbi. The regulars, as always, are never less than brilliant and the guest cast of Menoptra work really hard to give us distinct characters in costumes which could have swamped their performances.
And the story must have done something right because Vortis has been returned to time and again, and as far back as the 60s TV Comic and annuals. In fact, this little rewatch has prompted me to start a new mini-project ala my Peladon Tales - yes, I’m going to subject everyone to a whole thread of Vortis Vivacity!
I still wouldn’t say I like The Web Planet and probably never will, buit I still want to thank you for doing this. These did help me to appreciate the technical sides and some of the narrative choices more than previosuly.
Okay, no I’m exaggerating but oh my lord, this one was SO. DAMN. BORING. I think Vortis looks nice and the costumes, while not perfect at all, are actually quite cool. I think the Zarbi look good and the Menoptra too despite the “quite a bit of effort but not a lot” Halloween costume-vibe. The effects on the Menoptra flying were kind of impressive for the time. There are good moments like One’s talks with the Animus, Ian’s sad look at Nemini after she died and some of the stuff between Barbara and the Menoptra she was with. Additionally, the aliens are pretty interesting, the production design again is pretty strong, and the Animus is pretty imposing and creepy.
But the overall plot is so dull and plodding, I couldn’t get into it really at all after part 2. And this thing is 6 parts long! I get the whole argument that this is Classic Who so it ran weekly and that excuses some of the stories that can feel overly long when viewed in one sitting. But that doesn’t really hold when the individual episodes themselves feel like they’re moving at a snail’s pace. I did take a short break between parts 3 and 4 (though arguably maybe I should have had a longer one) but it still doesn’t help with The Web Planet. Not much really happens, Barbara doesn’t get much to do, Ian gets a somewhat interesting subplot in the underground, One has some moments that are fun when he gets all giddy and I liked his methods of delaying the Animus. Vicki does basically nothing, which sucks.* Oh and that f##king beeping noise the Zarbi make, it was a weird little noise first. Then it kept playing over and over and over and makeitstopplease.
It’s such a shame because I went into this one wanting to like it, already knowing it isn’t very well-received, and as said, the production is pretty damn good. I think the basic plot is fine enough but it is not executed well and it doesn’t work for 6 whole parts. This is the first time I give any story 1 star, which since I use a scale of up to 10, translates to a 2/10.
*Okay, she does have a nice conversation with Barbara in part 1, and she does save the Doctor by undoing the magic paralyzation thingy. But there’s not much more than that.
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