For all our talk of how kind and welcoming and open to discussion people on the forum are, I haven’t actually felt properly welcome here in months. I feel like we have built such a culture of positivity that no one is allowed to express frustration. I don’t want to name names, but there have been a couple of users who have consistently replied to each and every even slightly negative post I made in the past months with an extremely condescending tone. I feel that no matter how well or how eloquently I explain myself, no one is willing to listen to what I have to say or take it at face value.
I love this forum. I really do. There are a lot of good people here who I enjoy talking to. I’ve had many enlightening discussions here over the year and a bit I’ve been a part of the forum, and it breaks my heart that I feel this way now, but lately I haven’t been able to go a full day without feeling anger or frustration at something that happened on the forum.
This is no longer a good place for me to spend my time. I’ve thought on this long and hard; a few weeks ago I decided to wait until the series was over, try and voice my opinion less or phrase things better or not directly engage with the people who made this place somewhere I don’t want to spend my time, but none of this has worked. I’m just not happy.
I may still hop into club or whodle threads for the badges, but I won’t be interacting with anyone. You know where to find me.
I feel I am probably one of those who has made you feel like this and I apologise if that is so.
I’ve never wanted anyone to feel they can’t vent their frustrations or disappointments with the series and I definitely didn’t mean any of my posts to sound condescending. In real life I do tend to default to sarcasm but it is rarely meant vindictively and certainly round here I have never meant it to come across like that.
I have always like reading your contributions even if I don’t agree with them. We are obviously polar opposites in many respects to how we approach being fans of the show and I’m sorry if I’ve made that divide something untenable and forced you away. It was never my intention.
I do hope you feel you can return at some point. I truly believe this is still a positive community to be part of, even when we get caught up in disagreements.
In completely unfiltered brutal honesty, I get it and have contemplated similar myself on a couple of occasions.
I find a few days’ break does help because it isn’t really a problem with this place, just inherent problems with online discussion that (regrettably) not even this place is immune to.
It’s sad reading you don’t feel welcome here anymore, but I hope you end up feeling better in the long run.
If there is toxic positivity, I haven’t personally noticed it all that much,
HOWEVER, I will still defend ur fanfics as being great till the day I die nonetheless. Dk if that counts as “toxic positivity” lol but it was always nice seeing you here. A fellow Jonto shipper in the wild
I think you’re a pretty cool person who contributes a lot of pretty cool things, so It’s a shame to see you leave; however, we have to do what’s best for us first, and I fully get why you’re quitting.
I wish nothing but the best for you, and I hope that this place can eventually become somewhere that you feel welcomed in again.
I’m very sorry to hear this. If it’s not fun, then it’s not worth staying. I hope that a break is all you need, but if this really is goodbye, then it’s been a pleasure knowing you. I don’t know where to find you apart from on here, but I wish you all the best.
It’s a shame to see you go, since I did enjoy seeing your Input, even if not always agreed with it. Your Decision is totally fair, even if it’s a great shame that you don’t feel welcome enough. I am at least glad that you decided to take a step back from this Forum.
I do hope to see you again on here maybe in the Future, but I totally understand if we don’t, take care!
I’m so sorry to hear you felt this way…I wish this could’ve been prevented before in someway. I’m very sad to see you go but I see this is the best desicion for you as you clearly don’t feel happy this way, just take care of yourself
I can sympathise, it’s not so long ago that I had an unpleasant experience on the forum myself. While I didn’t entirely give up on the place, it has left me feeling quite cautious about posting, and there are a couple of people I’m still a bit wary of. Anyway, hope to see you back soon.
In response to this and a few other comments can I just remind people that if you have a problem with any particular individual, please reach out to the moderators so that things can be resolved. Often a quiet word and an apology can do the world of good in keeping our community safe and welcoming. As has been discussed elsewhere, any online community is prone to misunderstandings, misreadings and elements of ‘lost in translation’.
And if your issue is specifically with a moderator (none of us perfect), there are others you can reach out to:
